The secret to BBW dating and tinder hookup outside your circle is realizing that there are no circles!
I know the idea of a curvy dating alliance has been around for generations. They are seared into our hearts and reinforced by countless TV shows and movies, but they are all lies. The only place alliances exist is in our heads. There are a million reasons why someone might or might not like you. None of this determines your worth or status as a person, but we're taught that if someone doesn't like us, it's because we're not good enough. If you are a 5-foot-8 white man who is interested in a woman who is only attracted to a 6-foot-tall black man, her lack of interest in you has nothing to do with your worth. She's just looking for something that will put you two at odds. It's only when you turn it into an alliance that it becomes an alliance problem.
What about the people who tell you they're different?
Unfortunately, these plus size people do exist. Just as you prevent yourself from finding love by doubting your own worth, they also prevent yourself from finding love by putting yourself on a pedestal that is very lonely. We all have things we want or don't want in a game or relationship. These things don't determine value. They're just facts. If you use these facts to judge the value of a person, it means that your value is far greater than the value of this person.
So, how can I date someone I didn't think belonged to me?
Forget about what makes you feel unworthy of someone and focus on what you have in common. It doesn't matter if you think someone is more attractive than you. See what kind of people they want to meet. Look at what you have in common and see if there are any signs that you will be together. That's what matters. If you're interested in them and you can honestly find evidence that they're looking for someone like you, it's worth a try.
With this in mind, it is important not to deceive yourself. Our brains are very good at rationalizing to help us get what we want. Therefore, it is important for us to be honest with ourselves about what others say they want. If you have to change yourself to meet their expectations, you are setting yourself up for failure.